It’s hard to express myself nowadays. I don’t know why but upon my face.. I only have one expression: tiredness.
Is it crazy that I’m afraid of a relationship?
I don’t want to lose this fuel and this drive. I don’t want to lose my focus over love and a boyfriend anymore. Don’t want to live for someone other than myself and the people I love. I’m just scared that I’ll throw it all away for someone one day, and I’ll be too blind to see it.
I really wish I could just get heart surgery, so I don’t have to have this feeling eating me up inside. I just want to have a system to bump blood back into my system, so I can fall in love with something else. It doesn’t have to be a person, but something that will keep me safe… happy.. and something that will just make me thirsty to keep pushing myself to be better.
Is it crazy to say that I want to work on my birthday?
I just feel like my birthday happens every year and it’s nothing special to me anymore. Plus this year.. I don’t deserve it.
I know I’m being really negative about this but..it’s really hard to see people celebrate it and be there for me when I screwed up so many times this year. Why should I let the people I love treat me like a princess when I was a terrible person? Being able to spend time with their love ones is a gift that’s earned. I haven’t earned it at all this year.. Not at all
So disappointed when some guys only want girls for their body.
I have fallen in love how your smile brightens my day. Fallen in love how you made me enjoy every moment I have with you. Continuously think about how when our eyes meet.. it seems like it was fate for us to find each other.
Though behind that smile, it’s a mask where you hide all your pain. Through the laughter, it was a sound to suppress the yells and cries you had. Your eyes tells me that you see the future and how bright it could be, but it’s only for a second then you go back to remembering the past that haunt you at night.
I know I’m not a doctor to make the disease that has been eating you inside go away. I’m not a time traveler that could erase what happened before. I’m not psychic where I read your mind whenever you’re sad or mad.
But I know I’m that one person that could make you laugh whenever I say stupid things. Make you become silly and let yourself out of your shell. Do things that you never done or felt before. So give me a chance. To hug you when you feel alone or upset. Let me guide you when you’re lost. To cherish you till the end. Help you understand how great of a person you are because I know I’ll make you truly happy one day.
Everyone has baggage. Some may have too much and some may have slightly none, but in reality.. we all do in some form: physically, mentally, or spiritually.
Based on my past relationships… I had a lot of baggage. Maybe too much for a man to carry.I tend to choose a boyfriend that barely has any, but I don’t mean to. As I pick up his, and he’ll pick up mine… I could see that I barely struggled. On the other hand, he was sweating. To be honest, I don’t mind helping because a relationship takes two to make things work, yet always my boyfriend had too much pride to let a lady help him out. We carried it up the stairs because the elevators weren’t working. I saw my love one struggle and couldn’t reach to the floor that we were staying at. Though, I was able to reach to our room without a sweat.
Finally cleaning up my room.
Bringing in the new